Whitewash

I have always been intent on remaining sin free. I wanted my life to look as pristine as possible. I am not currently a Catholic, although I was baptized as one. I am now a Jehovah's Witness, and a proud one. I saw a few weeks ago a story in the news that our church was undergoing religious transformation, and that it may not be the same in a few years.

The idea that our church could change was a little disheartening, because it seems perfect to me. I know that there were incidents that seemed unlikely for a church like ours, however, they did not appear to be the type of incident that could cause a reformation. Today, however, I decided to take a good look at my life, the things I did on a daily basis, the thoughts I held in my head for weeks, months, and years, as well as my daily routine of prayer and bible study.

I realized that there is virtually nothing that moves my heart when I read the Scriptures. I read them as a matter of course, not delving deeply enough to engender change. I have the sins that everyone seems to commit: lying, stealing a small carton of milk from my job whenever I run out at home, taking liberties with phone calling, standing tall when I weigh myself so that the scale will seem lighter, and others.

​I now see that my idea of pristine is warped. To God, pristine is never ever saying a word that is untrue. It is not leading the pack in slander and gossip. It is laying down the law that you will never ever take something that does not belong to you. It is being at peace with having to wear the same clothing two years in a row, because you refuse to steal to supplement your budget.

​To God, pristine is wearing white day in and day out, so that when he looks at you in the ether, he sees only white. I know that I have a long way to go in order for my life to truly be pristine. i know that when I finally arrive at the place where he sees only white, my ether will have become a healing ether.

Pamela
​Manhattan, New York, USA